15th May 2020
Dear Wellfield family,
I hope you’ve all had a brilliant week, and are managing to take the opportunity to make those around you feel good, with your random acts of kindness.
I spoke briefly on Monday about how doing kind things for others can make ourselves feel good too, but I think as we come to the weekend it would be helpful to focus on ourselves. Often we feel a little selfish if we start to think about what we need, and what we want, rather than putting others first, but it is so important to look after ourselves. If we don’t, we can’t possibly look after others.
We tend to search for the negative naturally, and give ourselves a bit of a hard time over pretty much everything. We aren’t really fair to ourselves most of the time, and we would never say to others the kinds of things we tell ourselves. Those children that have worked closely with me know all about our “mind monsters” and just how horrid they can be, but we all have them, and unless we stop paying attention to them, we let them grow, they get louder, and it is much more difficult to ignore them. They say things to us like, “you’re rubbish at that”, or “nobody will think that is good”.
But guess what?
They’re not right. They’re not real. We can get rid of them.
Firstly, it’s important to know that you aren’t alone, that we all struggle with negative thoughts and can all be unkind to ourselves. Most importantly though, you need to know that you are in charge, not the mind monster… you are.
You have to be your own best friend, above all others, the person you spend the most time with is you, and so it is important that you’re looking after yourself.
I find that the most important thing I can tell myself is “it’s okay”.
Giving yourself a hard time over something that didn’t go exactly as you wanted is only going to feed that mind monster, and is going to make you feel pretty rubbish about yourself. We don’t want that.
You are amazing.
I can say that with confidence about whoever is reading this, because you are you, and being you is what makes you so amazing.
This weekend, I want you to start trying to replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. Don’t ignore them, tackle them, stop them in their tracks, and replace them with a positive, and show them who’s boss (that’s you).
If you’ve made a mistake, if you’re having a bad day, if you find yourself worrying constantly about anything, if something hasn’t quite gone the way you’d have liked it to, you need to :
Take 5 deep breaths
Say “it’s okay”
Replace that negative thought with a positive one, and remind yourself of it every time that same thought pops up.
I’ve attached some ideas below for how we can practise being kind to ourselves, give it a go and see how it makes you feel.
Have the most wonderful weekend, remember to be kind, and keep telling yourself that it’s okay.
This is a brilliant example from Mentally Healthy Schools of an activity you can do each day, either for others like we spoke about on Monday, or for yourself, which is our focus right now. Feel free to use these, or create your own, because only you know what will make you feel happy.
Another brilliant example is from Twinkl you could fill this in and pop it up on your wall to remind yourself of the things you can do to be kind to yourself.
I love this one from Moments a Day, and again, after filling it in, displaying it somewhere where it’s going to catch your eye is a fantastic way of reminding yourself to be nicer to you 🙂